Do you want to learn how to talk to people? Today we’ll get you feeling confident making conversation.
We post a lot about how intense exercising is important for the sake of staying fit and healthy; however, sometimes you need a lot more than external appearances to actually impress people. If you’re in a situation where you look your best but aren’t confident when you talk to people. You’re working against all that time you put in to looking and feeling strong. Building up your confidence from the inside is just as important as the external.
Do You Wish You Were Better With People?
A lot of us are not good when it comes to talking to people. You mind find yourself scrambling for things to say and too often your conversations will come to an awkward dead end. Even if you have mastered the art of approaching people, you may feel like you don’t have the guts to take the conversation forward. Do you ever find yourself keeping to yourself in social situations and then regret attending?
Don’t worry; you have come at the right place as I am going to take you through some different to improve your interactions with people. I used to be pretty socially awkward but these tips, along with the confidence that comes with fitness, helped me immensely.
The Importance Of Small Talk
Regardless of whether you love or hate it, you cannot ignore the importance of small talk, especially in the work place. It is through small talks that you can carry a conversation further; whether it is friendship or even relationship. This little skill helps you fill in the gaps in conversations between more important topics. Ask about family, current events, ask anything and you will be able to keep the interaction going. This will ultimately help you in creating even deeper connections.
If you think this is a silly ‘skill’ to hone, remember that small talk sets the stage for helping you dive deeper into meaningful conversations. With time, you are only going to get better at the art of how to talk to people.
Some people will roll their eyes at the thought of having to make small talk with a bunch of people. Trust me; it isn’t as tough as you have made it out in your mind. People are nervous to talk to you, too. However, you will have to work upon it because these skills are not going to pop miraculously inside of you. You need to have the desire to improve your small talk conversation and at the same time, you should be willing to try it out. Apart from that, these are the things you need to keep in mind.
#1: Asking Questions Makes People Happy
Have you ever wondered why do people want to talk to people? We all want to feel connected to our peers. This is a very human
When you are talking to people you like talking to, you are sure to feel better after the conversation. One of the reasons people commonly enjoy conversations, is when you ask them about themselves. We all love to talk about ourselves, as selfish as that might sound. This is one of the classic bits of wisdom when it comes to business relations. You can read more about that in Andrew Carnegie’s famous book, How to Win Friends and Influence People.
How do you feel when you speak to someone in a crappy mood? The mood is contangious. So think about that for a second, if your mood is enthusiastic and interested, the people you speak to will reflect this back towards you.
If you begin by taking an interest in others and asking questions, you will really like the results of they speak to you in turn.
Ideally, you should try to be the kind of person who will make someone happy just by talking to them. If you can wear a cheerful presence, it might end up making a lot of difference, regardless of if you feel confident doing so.
When you engage in small happy talk, it will make a lot of difference in the life of too many people. If you are the reason for someone’s happiness, you will find yourself being happier too. Even if it looks to be hard at the start, keep trying. Honestly, not everyone will respond to your positivity. That’s okay and doesn’t have to affect you.
There are various studies that have shown that when you perform a certain way even under forced obligation, you soon adapt to the same and behave like it is natural for you to do so. This is why even if it doesn’t looks very appealing to you, you need to try and be sure that you engage in positive small talk, but also take an interest and ask questions about the other people. Over time, you will begin to see some major changes.
#2: Talking to People and Being Thoughtful
When you force yourself out of your comfort zone a bit, and begin to build a friendly rapport with coworkers or peers, conversations inevitably lead to more thoughtful topics. It’s best to build comfort with these situations before jumping into heavy topics. For some this might seem second nature, but have you ever been in a conversation where someone comes out of left field and kills the vibe? We all have. Here’s how to not be that guy, and still have thoughtful conversations.
One of the best things about getting comfortable making friendly small talk is that you never know how one things lead to another and even before you realize it, you will find yourself discussing topics you had no clue you knew about or even topics which turn out to be common interests—which leads to deeper connections in friendships and business.
While you cannot guarantee that small talk will always help you get to a situation where you can have thoughtful and meaningful talks, there are pretty high odds of doing just that. Suppose you start talking about hobbies and then you jump to books only to find out that the person with whom you are talking owns his/her own publishing house. Not only can you get a significant insight into how the publishing industry operates, but at the same time, you will now have a contact which you can use when you need it. The point is, you never know unless you ask people what they’re into, and care.
Asking about people’s hobbies is a great way to figure out more about who they are. More importantly, the person will enjoy the experience of talking to you because they’ll of course love to tell you about their interests. This all builds back onto being received well by others because you take a real interest in their life and might share interests. The more you put this out from yourself, the more you will receive it in turn.
#3: Talking to People is Only as Weird as You Make It
One good thing about making friendly conversation is that you have every right to be weird and quirky. People might not always understand or relate, but if you really are a bit quirky, you’ll never find people like you if you’re afraid to be yourself. It’s completely ok to start conversation with totally random questions sometimes. They’re called ice breakers for a reason, they don’t have to be smooth!
You can come up with entirely random things and chances are, if you’re smiling and friendly, most people will respond in kind. All you need to do is be sure that you are following the lead and try and keep the conversations flowing.
When you’re trying to improve your skills talking to people, it’s ok to take chances and figure out what people respond to. We’re all a little weird.
Most of the times, if you’re not afraid to joke around and express a little humor, it’s going to entertain a lot of people and thus help you in more ways than one. Don’t waste all your energy trying to think of jokes to be the funny guy in a group conversation, but when you see an opportunity, take it! Ideally, this should come naturally and then you can keep the flow going.
#4: Talking to People and Remembering Details
One of the biggest compliments you can pay to people is remembering their name. When you’ve spoken to someone before and forget most of what they said, you’re sending a clear message that this person is not important to you. You will have to spend a great deal of energy convincing them otherwise.
There’s also a line; it would be almost creepy to have someone remember every single detail about our lives. So if you are someone who has an exceptional memory, remember to keep it in check so you don’t come off wrong.
To make things more clear, rather than telling someone, “you were wearing this same jacket when we met while heading to Las Vegas last year in March”, it is better to rephrase it as, “I feel like I have seen you wearing this jacket sometime before, haven’t I?”
Now that you have got a hang of it, you know how to be a little imprecise. When you are a little hazy and your conversations are not really clear, it implies that you remember the details but not all the points. You were paying attention, but you’re not obsessive. This will help the other person be at ease while talking to you and at the same time, the conversation can keep moving ahead in the right direction.
So Start Talking to People
These were the four main tips that helped me when I was learning to improve on talking to people. Now, you are aware of all these points; however what you need to remember is that just knowing the points is not going to take you anywhere. If you really want to talk to people and make an impression, you will have to be sure that you can implement these points and at the same time, you’ll need to practice.
There is absolutely no doubt about the fact that good conversational skills can be learned over a period of time and you should never give up on these habits. When you are talking to people, you need to know that there is nothing that you will lose by doing so. What is the worst that could possibly happen? You two won’t click and in the end, it is going to hurt you and your feelings? You’ll survive. So, the better and smarter choice around is to find out the ideal ways by which you can keep the conversion going. Work on your skills.
Once you are confident, you will be able to take the conversations further. Ideally, your body language should be calm, cool and collected. Once the other person is comfortable with your body gestures and at the same time, they are happy talking to you, it will help you convey your message and ensure that you will have a fuller connection.
Do not try too hard because it shows. When you’re talking to people, conversations are best had when they are smooth and not forced. However, if you are not so skilled in this department, you can always read articles like this to keep you moving forward.
Conclusion
Remember, talking to people is about taking an interest in their lives, asking about their interests and getting them talking about everyone’s favorite topic, themselves! Smile, look people in the eye and let them know you’re a kind enthusiastic person with every conversation as you bring things from casual to more thoughtful topics. Don’t be afraid to crack jokes, even if you strike out, you’ll never hit a homerun if you don’t swing the bat. Above all else, don’t let one bad interaction make you feel awkward and avoid social situations. The more people you make conversation with, the more comfortable you will be with new people, situations and topics. Get out there, give it a try figure out what works for you!
-Terry Asher
Terry
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